Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
