Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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