so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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