Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
