so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
