What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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