wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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