The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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