ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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