Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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