I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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