The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
