The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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