Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
