I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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