yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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