i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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