So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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