Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
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