He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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