Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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