I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
