oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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