Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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