I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
