She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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