drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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