chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
