"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
