Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
