I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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