saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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