can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
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Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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