OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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