I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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