You really coming over, don't trick.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
