I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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