i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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