I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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