That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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