none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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