we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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