I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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