i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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