she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I will be naked everywhere
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
