Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
