We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
