She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize