I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
