Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
