Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize