At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
