Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
