that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
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I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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