Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
